Fuck... The Ceiling's Gone All Swirly!

Inspired by my old pal with whom I've recently been reacquainted, what follows is my analgesic review... Firstly, in the words of "Scrubs", my favourite hospital based comedy, "it's pronounced an-algesic, not anal-gesic, the pills go in your mouth"... You can generally distinguish between oral medication and suppositories because of the size of the pills, generally, if they are bigger than 2 joints of your little finger, they ain't for swallowing! :-)

My first medication, self-prescribed, was paramol (not to be confused with the awesome post-millennial, Tennessee rock band Paramore although probably equally hard to swallow!) these contain paracetamol and dihydrocodeine and tend to make you feel a little floopy... The did not get rid of the pain, however they did stop me giving a fuck about the pain so something of a result!

The next day I forgot to take them to work and could only get paracetamol before my 8am shift started which was as effective as covering to area in dripping and chanting! Thus began my three pronged attack. Back at Boots, I asked for something strong with which I could take paracetamol... The gave me ibrupofen with dihydrocodeine! Once again the pain remained but I was so "hopped up on goofballs" that I couldn't do my work, and that coupled with the pain sent me home.

At this point I believed my back pain to be nothing more than the residuals from an old hockey injury (wow, never sounded gayer, or more middle-class!!) so I bought myself a heat pack and some mags and went home to rest up vowing that a few back exercises would have me back in work the next day!

The next day following badly thought out back stretches designed for sprains and pulls, my back was in agony so I took myself down to the walk in centre in Manchester. After a brief wait I saw a nurse who basically said I was doing all the right things (how wrong she was).

I spent the rest of the afternoon hobbling between bed, bathroom and sofa and drinking lots of coffee with the pain getting increasingly sharp and stabby and beginning to radiate down my legs with tingling in my toes. A quick look online showed that anything from nerve damage to a slipped bloody disc could be causing the pain and as Nickie wasn't around to be the voice of reason, I began to panic!

Tbc