PAIN...

I'm afraid this is rather a negative one... I've had a really bad day.


I returned to work on Tuesday... 


It was a necessity...


I was about to go onto SSP (Statuatory Sick Pay) which is £81.60/week ($132.00, €93)...


This isn't a bad rate for somebody who isn't physically working, and a darn sight more than employment and support allowance (a sickness benefit which replaced Incapacity Benefit), but I cannot physically live on that. This is not because I have become accustomed to living to certain standards, but because I live to a budget for my outgoings and if I drop £500.00+ per month I will be verging on bankruptcy...


So I have returned to work...


And I am in agony.


My employers who I will not name have been very helpful in terms of my return to work. They have furnished me with a raised desk and a stool so I can alternate between standing and sitting... But as it turns out, they both hurt...


I cried today - luckily my new desk faces the wall so nobody knew... 


I took two doses of the Tramadol/Diclofenac/Cyclozine mix which has been up til now taking the edge off the pain, plus two Paracetamol tablets between my two doses of opiates... They didn't touch it. I spent the day feeling like I was being battered with big sticks across my spine. The pain is constant, then come spasms in bursts which take my breath away. I'm trying to keep my owie noises under wraps and desperately trying not to be a whiner at work - when someone asks if I'm ok, through gritted teeth I say "Yes".


What am I supposed to do?


I just have to grin and bear it... 






I finished at 4pm