I didn't know
whether being gay was "ok" and this casual banter even infected my
own lexicon. I became homophobic, without really even realising what that word
meant. It seemed easier to turn a blind ear or worse still, join in, than it
was to admit that I might be gay.
We didn't
have any gay teachers, just suspected ones and we didn't have a single pupil in
the whole school who was brave enough to come out (although between 6 and 10
from my year alone did once they left!)
Section 28
was something I had never heard of. I wasn't interested in politics or
education policy and I didn't know any gay people anyway, so it just wasn't a
thing that I ever needed to encounter.
Watching
Ellen Degeneres come out in 1997 changed all that. I didn't come to terms with
my sexuality until 2001 when I was 17 years old. But '97 was a crucial year for
me. I suddenly understood what gay actually meant. I had an actual lesbian upon
whom to anchor my thoughts.
I was still
in the closet, even to myself, for the next four years and my sexuality
expressed itself, unfortunately, as internalised homophobia. I watched Queer as
Folk and thought it was incredible and exciting, but at school I said it was
disgusting, because that was what all my friends said. I speculated about the
sexuality of various teachers with my friends as I wrestled with my own sexual
orientation.
What I feared
most was somebody asking me directly, I don't think I could have lied. Four
years later when I left high school, I came out and never looked back... Yeah
right! I didn't have anybody telling my "It gets better" or
"It's good to be gay". The backlash against Ellen had been brutal and
in the UK, it was really no easier to come out as gay at 17 than it had been
ten years earlier.
Once I was
out, however, I never went back in. I came out to my Mum, she told my Dad,
somehow my Nana found out and once I went off to university, I was a fledgling
dyke waiting to spread my little gay wings.
University
was a revelation. I suddenly had gay friends, got to experience gay clubs and
the "gay lifestyle" (which is very much like the "straight
lifestyle" but with more rainbows). It was then, at my first Pride in
Manchester, that I heard about Section 28 for the first time. It was August 2003 and I
was 19 and my feeling was one of abject horror. Shortly after that, Section 28
was finally repealed. But for me, that wasn't the end of the story.
Section 28
caused me harm. There I said it. Not insignificant harm - real harm. Because my
teachers didn't step in when people used the word "Gay" as in insult,
I never realised it was bad. Because my teachers were too afraid to come out, I
never had a role model. Because there were no role models, I didn't come out.
So it was
with sadness that I read Shaun Dellenty's TES article which said that gay
teachers are still being told to "keep quiet" about their sexuality.
This Section 28 by the back door MUST stop. Perhaps if I'd had one teacher who
was out and proud, I would have had an easier ride in my teens.
Some kids and
teachers are gay - get over it.
http://www.tes.co.uk/article.aspx?storycode=6373296
- Shaun Dellenty's beautifully written article for TES.
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