WINNING!

Anyone who knows me or reads my Facebook will know that I am now officially saving for my wedding... Actually, that's not strictly true at the moment... I have to sort out a few of my bills for the next couple of months, so at the moment, I'm just trying to reign myself in so that come March I will have money to save. The downside to this is that we are not going to Maspalomas Pride in May, which was quite a special one as it represents somewhat of an anniversary for me and Nick (we barely knew each other when we booked it, and had a magical time!) The upside is that if we can save £100.00/month each, we can afford our dream wedding in March 2014... Hopefully on or around our anniversary which is the 4th. This is the first real thing I've every saved for - everything else has been NOW NOW NOW, credit cards, overdrafts, loans. I am determined that 2012 will be the year of my financial awakening - I've had an epiphany (thanks to my Uncle Cliff who had very wise and six months of being on a very low income). My plan is to treat every month as though they were the last month of 2011. It was a very difficult month, my bills matched my income (and only just thanks to help from Mum and Dad and Nickie). I had no spare cash at all. I had to be clever! I didn't go out, I made all my cards by hand, my presents too - baked gifts, hand made decorations etc. I'd say I spent around £50.00 all in all on ingredients and supplies. For that I managed presents for 6 people and cards for 15.

Now the financial situation is marginally better... without Christmas to contend with, I can manage my bills and travel to and from work, as well as a small food budget. Time to get clever again...

Rules for 2012

1. If you can't pay for it straight away, don't spend it - No more Credit Cards or loans. (Not to mention our unfortunate decision to buy a second hand vacuum cleaner with a view to paying for it "after payday" thinking we had enough money in January...)
2. Justify every penny - All outgoings to be added to a spreadsheet and justified. I have a column labelled "Valid". If I can't honestly justify the spend, the cell is coloured red, the plan is to end up with no reds.
3. Don't pay full price for any item that you can realistically live without - So "Whoops" labelled treats and Orange Wednesday movie nights!
4. Don't buy what you can bake - This includes cakes, biscuits and other tasty treats... it also includes presents.
5. Pay £200.00 off the credit card each month - If I do this for the next 4 months, I can afford to reduce it and save the rest.
6. Make Spare Time Pay - Car boot sales, Web Design, Baked Goods, eBay ... If you can make £1.00 profit, sell it!
7. Be Smart - This deals with two things in particular - my NHS Prescription Pre-Pay card and my travel Season Ticket. I'm on so many meds at the moment that £10.50/month is worth it! In addition, I can get a season ticket loan for the bus which will save me £s!
8. Make One Change - I only buy one or two Starbucks coffees each month, but added up over the year, it's loads of money. No more posh coffees on the way to work (obviously if I'm meeting a friend for coffee, I'm allowed to have one!)
9. The Longer You Hold Off, The Greater The Rewards - That's thanks to my bbf Lucy! Why buy it now when you can pay off a few more bills and treat yourself next month?! 

Following these 9 rules should eventually get me back in the black!

Today was a particularly fortuitous day. I've been telling Nickie for ages that we should try to trade in all of our unused gaming equipment and today we finally did it... We got £130.00 (store credit) trade in for various Wii related equipment (£12.00 extra due to staff incompetence - what do you mean the controllers don't work?! Turned out the "new" batteries they tried were actually dead!). We won't be going out very much so all those new games will definitely be useful!

We also took a set of knives back to Next. They were 11 months old (the finish was chipping and they were going rusty!) and we got the full price back £35.00 onto a refund card. If we're very lucky, we'll get a new set in the sale and then we'll have a little bit to treat ourselves with!

It's a good start... In the next few weeks, we're hoping to do some car boot sales, and putting some old designer clothes on eBay. In March we're opening a joint (scary!) savings account and every extra penny will go into it. I just hope my resolve will keep firm! Wish me luck!

*amendments are in italics

Another Year Over

This time last year I was suffering terribly with the flu, I was laid up in bed and I had just been dumped. How different my life is now! In the past twelve months, so much has happened that I feel I must make a record of it. In spite of everything, 2011 has truly been the best year of my life, mostly thanks to one person, but I'm getting ahead of myself now...

Waking up on New Years Day 2011, I had a bad headache which was annoying as I hadn't drank a drop of alcohol at the party the night before. My heart ached as badly as my head and for some reason, I was still missing my ex-girlfriend. I had made no plans for 2011, no resolutions as I find them impossible to keep!

A few weeks into the new year, my wonderful Mum said the words that set me free;
"If you want to move to Manchester, I will look after Austin."

Austin is my gorgeous Collie cross whom I couldn't imagine giving away. He is almost six years old and I've had him since he was 8 weeks old. My Mum had previously (and understandably) refused to take Austin. He was my responsibility and so I had lived with Mum and Dad, sharing walking duties (they have a dog of their own), and the costs of feeding for five years since splitting up with the girl who had given him to me! I remember at the time I couldn't bear the thought of keeping such a permanent reminder  of such a short and disastrous relationship!

I'm not sure what changed my Mum's mind, perhaps after seeing the lengths I was prepared to go to to keep him (moving in with the horrid rat people for a month in 2010), she realised how hard I would find it to say goodbye. Maybe she fell in love with him as I did, watching him grow from a wilful puppy into a mature and handsome protector.

Within a few days, I had arranged several viewings around Manchester, and by the following week, I had chosen the flatshare which would be my home for two months. At the end of January, I said goodbye to my family and Austin and moved into a flat fifteen minutes walk away from work. It was a little crowded and my landlord tended to stay up late, smoking in the living room. I didn't mind much as I smoked myself.

After a month of living there, I performed my first real Gig 'Grrrrl Meets Boi' for the Lesbian Community Project and ran a workshop on being a Drag King. I had a wonderful night hanging out with all my friends and partying in the Village. The day after Grrrrl Meets Boi, I decided to pay for a subscription to Gaydar Girls. I was finally over my ex and I wanted to find somebody. Within a day, I'd met a girl who was a self confessed geek. We started chatting, and then we moved onto emails. I'll brush swiftly over the next bit, as it involves me dating two girls at the same time, but by the end of that week, I met Nickie for the first time and I immediately knew that she was the one. I knew that I would one day marry her. I was terrified to let myself fall in love after what had happened the previous December.

I ended up moving in with Nickie after a month together. That is its own story and if you'd like to read it click here. We settled into life together and it felt as though we'd known each other our whole lives. We spent the next few months enjoying ourselves. We went on holiday to Gran Canaria and partied like nobody's business, I managed to get Nickie out in Drag and she offered to manage my performance career. We met some wonderful new friends and started volunteering for the LCP as a board member. It was around that time that Nickie discovered she was to be made redundant at the end of September.

One Sunday morning in July (in case you've been living in a cave and hadn't heard), I woke up and couldn't get out of bed. My back had completely ceased in its function as the main support of my frame and I was in agony with even the slightest movement. I took a few days off work, went to the hospital and was prescribed painkillers and went back to work. After a week, it became clear I could no longer work in the office. My attempts at altering my workspace and standing at a raised workstation didn't help the pain, the painkillers made me drowsy and sick, and I was crying, unable to concentrate and making silly mistakes. Little did I know that when I left the office that day, I wouldn't return for almost five months. I think if I'd thought that at the time, it would have killed me.

To begin with, I had a little bit of work to keep me going in the shape of a website I was designing for The Happy Theatre Collective. I was still volunteering for the LCP and I was busy most of the time. I was still in agony and could barely move between bed, sofa and bathroom. Nickie made miracles happen on my birthday, planning lunch with my parents, dinner with my best friend Lucy who is amazing and fabulous and her husband Matthew who is also amazing and fabulous (they're four months away from giving me my first niece/nephew), a party at the flat AND an afternoon of board games and food with our other best pals in the world Katie and Emma. 


Pride was an unmitigated disaster, I wasn't able to perform on stage or man the LCP expo stand as I'd planned, and worse still, I slipped in the bathroom at the hotel and made my back worse! 


After Pride, I really thought I'd be back at work, but my back was no better and worse still, I hadn't yet had my MRI scan and so I still had no diagnosis. I was struggling to accept my limitations and Nickie was telling me off a lot for trying to hoover and iron. She had to work for two weeks in Edinburgh and after a lot of consideration and thought, I went up for the weekend, taking the train and taking my tablets as I boarded to ensure a swift descent into sleep for the duration of the journey. We had an amazing time in Edinburgh, even with the ever present shadow of pain, we "did the castle", took a bus tour and saw the sights and took an amazing tour of the Royal Yacht Britannia. During the week, Nickie had a phone interview with a new company and I was so proud when she was offered the job a couple of days later. 


Nickie was made redundant as planned at the end of September and she coped amazingly well. She had been with the company for twelve years and I don't know how I would have felt in the same situation. I finally had my scan and things were starting to look up. Nickie took me on the most amazing holiday to New York. It was the break we both needed. More strong pills and a gin sent me to sleep for the flight. I woke in time to watch the descent into JFK. She'd organised a Limo to our hotel (The Plaza) and we spent the next five days being utter tourists, taking a river cruise around Manhattan Island, seeing my Uncle who lives in New Jersey, shopping, shopping, shopping and shopping, and of course eating! 


Returning to the UK, 27lbs over our weight limit (whoops!) was so hard and after finding out that my scan had shown NOTHING. I slipped into crippling depression. I was still in pain and my finances were not good. Once again, my lovely Mum and Dad stepped in and along with Nickie, supported me through my very own recession. 


Nearly finished now and onto December and the best month of this past year. I finally returned to work and applied for and was offered a fantastic month long secondment. Nickie and I planned for Christmas, preparing for the arrival of my lovely mother in law and her dog. I spent the whole month making Christmas Decorations, Baking and making cards and presents. Nickie, who has settled into her new job marvellously, moved furniture round (whilst I gave instructions) and we went to the Christmas Markets in Manchester. Our love for each other grows every day, and last Sunday on the 18th December, I asked Nickie to marry me and she said YES! I have never been happier, and this alone would have made 2011 a bumper year! But everything, EVERYTHING else that has happened, falling in love, my birthday, new friends, New York, Edinburgh has made this the best year of my life. The good has not only outweighed the bad, but it has totally eclipsed it and I can't keep the smile off my face!


I hope that you are as happy as I am as we move into 2012 and that you smile as much as me! Best wishes and have a very Merry Christmas,


Lots of Love,
Lydia

Christmas Comes But Once A Year...

Or so you'd think! According to every agent I've spoken to at Amazon, there have been problems delivering due to "Christmas. I ordered a gift from them for my beloved on the 3rd December. I am a fully paid up "Prime" member, which means I am guaranteed free next day delivery on many items - including this one and it should have come on the 4th! So I waited. On the 7th it hadn't arrived, so I called Customer Services and they assured me that it was on its way. So I waited. On the 12th, the item still hadn't arrived so I called Customer Services again and they admitted that the item had been lost! They offered to send, what they called a "Free Replacement" - now to me the words free replacement mean that they will give me my money back, and send a new one out, free of charge by way of apology. But to Amazon, this means that they will not charge me for a replacement! Utter Madness. In addition, because of my £50.00 Prime Membership, they could not give me a refund on my delivery costs because next day delivery was free! After much argument, they finally agreed to give me a £5.00 gift voucher (actually the girl said $5.00 as she didn't bother to check what country I was from!) She also gave me an extra month of Prime Membership and assured me that the parcel would be sent by "Expedited Delivery" and would be delivered the following day. Well having waited for so long, I insisted that the parcel had to be delivered after 3pm, when I was home from work. She assured me that was fine. so I waited.

TWO DAYS LATER... The parcel has STILL NOT BEEN DELIVERED! The delivery company had tried to deliver at 10:43am... WHEN I WAS AT WORK...

I called customer services again and requested to speak to a manager. I was told one wasn't available. After making a little bit of noise, as if by magic, a Team Leader was found!

He couldn't guarantee that the parcel would be delivered after 3pm, he couldn't guarantee that it could be redelivered at the weekend, he couldn't even promise that he would call me before I went to work tomorrow...

I'm awaiting an email...

I understand that Christmas is a busy time of year from any company which delivers gifts...

But if you can't deliver, DON'T PROMISE NEXT DAY DELIVERY and more importantly - don't charge people £50.00 for "Prime" for 12 months, if that time doesn't include the month of December...

Moral - I'll go to Waterstones next time!

A blindingly good company...

Today I received my final Graze box. If you don't know what a Graze box is, go to www.graze.com for full details, but I'll give you a basic overview. Graze is a company who believes that grazing throughout the day on nutritionally balanced and tasty treats is often better than snacking on vending machine chocolate and crisps. You sign up online and you can receive as few as 1 box/week or even order them every day! They are £3.49/box, and there are incentives for recommending a friend like free boxes. They can deliver to your home or to the office, and the boxes are small enough to fit through a letter box.


There's no such thing as a typical box as they contain different things every day. You receive four punnets of goodies ranging from flap jacks and cashew nuts, to fruity mixes like the delicious Florentine which contains dark chocolate, cranberries and pumpkin seeds. Each of the punnets is individually sealed and they come in a recyclable cardboard box with a napkin. The snacks are delicious and well balanced. You can even sign up for a super healthy "Nutrition Box" containing only low fat, low GI snacks.


Their customer service is second to none. One week, my box never arrived and I phoned them in a bit of a huff (me? overeact?). They offered me one free box for the lateness and then another a few days later because it didn't turn up at all (it did in the end about two weeks late, all battered from the sorting office!)


The best part about Graze is the personal touch. Each box comes with a little booklet with your name on it (they are so nice that I've kept all of mine!) The booklets tell you exactly what is in your box and gives all the nutritional information. There is a page with some photographs and bits of information about various things such as new recipes and where they source ingredients. You also get four vouchers for free boxes to pass on to friends.



I really love receiving my Graze boxes, but whilst I was off sick, I had to put a hold on my account which came off last week. Last night I went online and realised that a box was on its way. Unfortunately I just can't afford to spend £3.49/week on snacks, however tasty or healthy they are, so I had to cancel my subscription. Today I was feeling really crap and down. Money worries, my back, impending bills we all getting to me. I'd also had no breakfast! But then I remembered my final box was due. When I opened it, I found a snowman, flat packed in the box on top of my snacks. My mood was immediately improved. 


I got a lovely booklet with a winter theme and the snowman. I put him together (I've named him Gary the Graze Snowman) here's a picture of him!

I was kind of overwhelmed to be honest, I know it's silly, but it was just such a lovely treat that it put a huge smile on my face. I sent them an email telling them how much I love the service and about how I have to cancel. I always say praise where praise is due. So imagine my surprise when I received a reply offering me a complimentary box! This is a good company! I know this sounds like one big advert, but like I said before, praise where praise is due. Give it a try and if you do, quote reference DG2FJY83 and you'll get your first box free!

The hardest realisation is that you brought it on yourself

Ew, gross, debt... There was once a time that debt was so massively frowned upon that people had to see the bank manager just to buy a new bed. But then came Credit Cards, Banking Call Centres and Sales People whose job it was to sell you credit, thousands of pounds of it and gullible people like me just dying to buy on the never never...


My current financial situation can be traced back to childhood pocket money. Whatever I received, I wanted to spend there and then. I very rarely saved up for something I wanted. If I didn't have enough money, I'd buy something of lesser value. In fact, I can't think of one think I saved up for when I was a kid. I didn't really know the value of money, but it didn't really matter because I was a little kid.


When I was eighteen, the bank heard I was going to university and started to offer me all these wonderful bits of credit - Student Bank Account, Overdraft, Credit Card, Extension after Extension. At one point, my total debt from credit was around £7000.00 and I was earning £4.10/hour and working 12 hours per week. The whole time I was at university, they never minded and just kept upping my overdraft whenever I needed it. They even gave me a cheque book! Eventually, my Student Loan payments were only taking me up to zero. I have been in the red most of my adult life.


Within six months of leaving university, the bank had begun calling me twice a day asking me to start paying it back. I was only earning around £300.00/month, some of which went to my parents for rent, and so I asked for an arrangement of £100.00/month which they agreed to, for three months after which I would call to discuss it and see how it was going. Brilliant, I thought, £100.00/month was entirely manageable.


Three months later I called up to discuss the arrangement, and silly me, because I'd been paying on time for three whole months, I thought this would be my long term arrangement. No, they insisted that they wanted the full amount paid back over 6 months, around £350.00/month. By this point, I'd found a better job, but was now living away from home, supporting my partner, paying bills and gleaning a tiny amount of social life. My father very kindly offered to take out a loan to cover my debt over five years which I would then pay instalments to him for. 


Two years later, I went back to university to study my teaching degree. Once again my bank (the same one) came calling again. Once again I was offered an overdraft and my credit card limit was increased. I feel sick now, thinking how I squandered that money. Except, well I didn't really. I had a bursary from the University, from which I paid the loan payments, my travel expenses (bus, train and tram - around £90.00/month as an estimate), I paid for my books and materials, lunches in the canteen and the odd dinner. My most extravagant expense was driving lessons. Very extravagant, but the best thing I ever did for myself. 


When I finished university in June 2009, I started looking for jobs straight away. I was lucky to find the one I'm still in today, and I intended to pay off what I owed and get back in the black, but being in full time employment had its perks, catalogue companies were more than willing to offer me credit (I've now got this under control), and Santander gave me a car loan. The bank were still offering to up my overdraft limit - they did it twice more, taking me to -£1200.00, which is the figure I'm at today.


In March 2011, I did something very stupid which seemed sensible at the time. I blame myself, but I feel I should also give the bank some credit. They offered me a loan to clear all of my debts. I wish I'd never taken it. I could have paid the amount I'm paying now to my credit card, and it would probably be nearly paid off. I think that when you sign up for a loan (and by sign up, I mean when you are sold a loan by the bank which you no longer have to physically sign anything for), it should be with certain conditions, like - "if we give you this loan, the credit card company will no longer offer you credit", or "if we give you this loan, we will automatically close your overdraft". A few months after I took out the loan, the credit card company offered me an increase in my limit. They tell you to call if you don't want it. Stupid stupid stupid me. 


But the never never has just caught up with me. I'm not sure what prompted me to do it, but tonight I calculated everything I owe, and it's not pretty. I won't write down the figure, I'm far too embarrassed, but put it this way, if I'd saved that much I'd have a decent deposit for a house. I felt pretty sick, and my girlfriend just happened to take a photograph at the moment I realised and post it on Facebook. So, for the foreseeable future, in fact for the next couple of years I won't be much fun. But if I ever want to be out of debt, I will have to stop having a life... 

What a difference a year makes...

As Nickie and I were wandering hand in hand through the hustle and bustle of the Manchester Christmas markets, I was suddenly visited by a ghost of girlfriend past... It was almost exactly a year ago, after a too spicy Indian meal at East z East on Blackfriars, that my recent ex-girlfriend decided that I was worth keeping around on the understanding that we wouldn't call each other girlfriend or partner, we wouldn't have sex, in fact, we wouldn't even hold hands until she was ready. We'd just had a screaming argument outside the bank on King Street and I'd stormed off in tears. Looking back, I can't quite believe I fell for it. She was just out of a six year relationship and was merely looking for an anchor. Within two weeks it was over again, for good this time, because I just couldn't keep up the pretence of friendship, particularly as she kept kissing me. I wept like Bella after Edward left. I'd given her a beautiful and expensive hand made notebook for Christmas. She gave me the flu, and I was laid up in bed until New Year. As we rang in 2011, I felt beyond hopeless. Driving my friend home after the party, I had to pass my ex-girlfriend's street and once I'd dropped my friend off, I cried all the way back to Bolton. I couldn't picture myself happy or in love. Within three months, I'd met Nickie and eight months on, I'm readying myself for my first ever Christmas with a girlfriend! My life has never been so full of joy and I never thought I'd get to this place. Every morning, I get to wake up in the bed I share with the most beautiful girl in the world. I walk through the flat we live in together, safe in the knowledge that she will return to our home. It is the best part of my day, knowing that she still loves me. So, despite everything, the bad back, the depression, the finances... 2011 has most definitely been better than 2010. I'd say it was the most wonderful year of my life, but you know what they say... The best is yet to come!

The word on the Street

I've seen the doctor today, the good one who tells it how it is... It is going to be January before I actually start my physio because of the waiting list :-( but at least I know. He's given me some exercises to do at home which I will start tomorrow (because I need to clean today) so hopefully I will be back at work by the end of this month fingers crossed. Even if I have to start on reduced hours, it's better than sitting here at home doing nothing! My back's still killing me and I'm exhausted all the time, add to that the depression, and I really really do need to get back to work!


Watch this space, and I'll let you know how I'm doing as and when!