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Showing posts from 2010

Christmas Morning

Smoked Salmon and Eggs... That isthespecial family breakfast in our house! Christmas and Easter, when we’re sitting down together, it’s got to be Smoked Salmon and Eggs.
But this meal is more special to me than the other members of my family realise. Picture it, me 6 years old about to undertake my first end of year exams at school. They were going to last a week and they would be taking place in the school hall/canteen/gymnasium.
On day one of this momentous milestone, my lovely Mum asked me what I wanted for breakfast… I thought for a moment and replied “Brain food!” “Hmm,” said Mum rummaging around in the fridge, “How about this?” she said triumphantly holding up a packet of Smoked Salmon.
We’d always had Smoked Salmon on special occasions, and that day I felt like a very special little girl as I devoured my Smoked Salmon and scrambled eggs on toast. I passed all my exams with flying colours, and that was the start of ten years of special exam breakfasts. From my SATS to my GCSEs and…

Christmas Eve

It is Christmas Eve and I'm trying to remember when I completely lost my Christmas spirit. I have none this year as flu is raging through my body. I've been in bed all week and aside from the odd "Delia Christmas Special", I have not been able to muster up even an ounce (I still work in old money) of Christmas spirit, although I will say that last night the sherry helped.
When I was very small, my brother and I used to test Santa Clause every year. We’d leave notes that said “if you are real tick here” and sprinkle talcum powder on the dark carpet in the hallway much to Mum’s chagrin.
I liked those times and I miss that innocence.
This year we have our entire family coming round to our house and I am reminded of my childhood and Christmas at Nana and Grandpa’s. There was always great food, a big spread with a bit brought round by everyone. There were jokes I was too young to understand (I particularly remember Grandpa inexplicably with knickers on his head). There was t…

The First Kiss

Am I likely ever to remember fondly my first kiss? Honestly, I remember it mostly with regret... Here I am a little lubricated on Sherry (well it is Christmas) and watching "Little Crackers" a series of terrific Christmas Shorts by various British comedians, and I remember my first kiss with piercing clarity. 


It lasted 19 seconds. I know this because somebody timed it. To protect the innocent, I will call him RF, these are his actual initials. I really fancied him. The lead up to the actual kiss is a little blurry. I remember it was open evening at school and I was volunteering, partly because it would later look good on my CV, but mostly because I was one of those awful goody goody teacher's pet types. I just wanted to be liked. Prior to this evening he had found out that I liked him, but I was not the kind of girl anybody cool would want to go out with in public. If I remember rightly, he approached me and we agreed in covert and cryptic language that we did want to &q…