Thursday, 23 December 2010

The First Kiss

Am I likely ever to remember fondly my first kiss? Honestly, I remember it mostly with regret... Here I am a little lubricated on Sherry (well it is Christmas) and watching "Little Crackers" a series of terrific Christmas Shorts by various British comedians, and I remember my first kiss with piercing clarity. 

It lasted 19 seconds. I know this because somebody timed it. To protect the innocent, I will call him RF, these are his actual initials. I really fancied him. The lead up to the actual kiss is a little blurry. I remember it was open evening at school and I was volunteering, partly because it would later look good on my CV, but mostly because I was one of those awful goody goody teacher's pet types. I just wanted to be liked. Prior to this evening he had found out that I liked him, but I was not the kind of girl anybody cool would want to go out with in public. If I remember rightly, he approached me and we agreed in covert and cryptic language that we did want to "go with" each other, which did not mean sleep with may I add. In Bolton that meant snog (although I always thought it sounded a bit rude) and I was very excited!

I immediately went off to tell my friends and to get some advice - how on earth do you kiss somebody with tongues?!? I remember that my face was flushed, my heart was beating very fast and I was trying to keep myself in check and trying to be aloof (I was not successful).

We met outside C block, at the far end, facing the swimming pool. By now the word had got out and a small crowd had gathered. I looked into his eyes and he leaned in and kissed me and rather swept me off my feet. But it was all over in, as I mentioned before, 19 seconds. 

It was a milestone.

Five years later he apologised for treating me so badly and asked me for a blowjob. I liked girls by then and laughed in his face. It's funny what you remember.

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